America’s Next Top Model

 

This Is Reality Baby

This Is Reality Baby

In this economy it is not enough to just have a beautiful face and figure. You have to be able to multitask…..for instance, Miss Piggy has been forced into plowing the back forty in order to feed the less endowed creatures that happen to dwell here. She  has had numerous requests for her modeling skills, but until the money comes rolling in, she is  happy to supplement our income with this manual labor. She also cooks and cleans, but I guarantee that her calendar will bring in enough funds to feed this overwhelming household  throughout  the next drought…..

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Swining and Dining

p-j-sandwich

We are taking all precautions to insure that Miss Piggy does not get exposed to the flu of any kind. We wash our hands and sterilize the plates before we fix her slop. We tried to get her to have a sip of red wine for the antioxidant properties of “resveratrol and the flavonoids” but she opted for a sandwich with organic peanut butter and grape jelly. We added some vitamins and flaxseeds and she is limiting the number of visitors until further notice….dinner

less chance of a Canine or Feline outbreak here, either. antioxidants

LOL

I don’t know what he told her, maybe he just breathed in her ear, but whatever, I walked outside and Miss Piggy was sure having fun with Cactus Jack…I oughta write a book!!!  img_0370

Pigasso Will Paint For Food

 

freaky martin.com

freaky martin.com

If only I had this raw talent. I would not want to clean up after these guys, but  with the profits that these piglets will be bringing in, they will have their own studio with maid service….

 

freakymartin.com

freakymartin.com

 

freaky martin.com

freaky martin.com

Bacon Bits

Pigs are smarter and cleaner than dogs, so the article said. Some are more affectionate than cats and make great house pets. Miss Piggy is an exception to that rule. Our pig is not a hugger but she does like to be read to. I  read an article to her  about the benefits to being single and I think all she heard was…blah,blah,blah…when you are single the leftovers are all yours!!!!. That’s when I got her attention. She did fall in love once or twice. The first time she saw a potential mate, she was desperate to get his attention. She first gave herself a mud bath and skipped to the chase by attacking “him”. He had the same physique as her, barrel shaped with tiny legs, although he appeared to be napping which is her second favorite hobby next to slopping. They already  had so much in common. It was better than on-line dating, she didn’t have to rely on an out dated photo retouched and manipulated beyond recognition…..Here he was a few feet in front of her. Not one to ever be called shy she launched herself on top of him, only to have him roll away from her as fast as she could stay mounted. This courtship went on for an hour. She was in the best shape of her life. If I had thought to strap on her pig-o-meter, I know she would have run a 10K during this whirlwind romance. She had no clue that Romeo was not interested. He was shallow and plastic, like so many pigs these days. Her heart break was short lived. We shared a gallon of ice cream and then I told her that she could learn a valuable lesson from this relationship. It’s what’s inside that counts. The good news was that he held the capacity to fulfill her dreams of a life time. He eventually flipped for her and she saw what I was trying to tell her. He was as fake as a mechanical bull, but she learned that when you fall you need to get back on and ride again. She could run and she could ride, this would prove valuable for her next major crush…..

Comfort food rules…..once again

The New Me

Tired of Blog Hogs? Me, too! I had my own blog, but I had so many comments and requests for my beauty tips that I had no time to slop and eat the flowers. Blogging is too stressful, so I will just contribute my pearls of wisdom when I can. It’s always something. A few years back, I had 30 acres of peanuts all to myself. They thought a whole family of feral hogs were involved, but it was just me. It’s lonely being an only pig, so I compensate by eating enough for two. Stay tuned for info on my new beauty forum.

Miss Piggy

 

Please do not confuse me with a Muppet!!

Saturday Night Social Club

Let’s Go!!!! Mamacita had been so excited the day we took her to meet her mate. Probably because her food was in the back seat, but anyway we had no problem getting her into her little pen and loading her up for an air-conditioned limo ride to her luna miel. Miss Piggy ran after us. “Where are you going with all that sweet feed?” “I want to go, too!” She squealed. It is hard being an only pig. Maybe we could find her a boyfriend, too. Did I say that out loud? Guess so. Tom gave me the look……one pig was enough. If you look closely at the photo, you can see that she is badly in need of a pedicure and so far no one was willing to give it a try.

The first several weeks, we were able to talk to Mrs. Ladrona. She told us that she was not sure if Mamacita was bred or not. During our last conversation she told us that  her billy goat, Peligro was shy and they were still getting to know each other. How sweet, I  thought. That was a month ago and she was not returning my calls. I used to see her in the grocery store and the post office. We would see her in church. “Let’s drive by her house and see if we can catch her at home” Tom suggested. The gate had been open the day that we dropped Mamacita off but this time there was a lock and chain. I didn’t see anyone around and didn’t think we should trespass so we left.  We decided to stop by the Gossip N Go on our way home and talk to Jolie known locally as La Prensa and see if she could tell us anything about Mrs. Ladrona. We learned that her caretaker, Soy Matadero had left and she was in the middle of building a cement pond all by herself. Her church and Garden Club activities were also keeping her busy. She was in charge of the Covered Dish Social at the church hall held every Saturday night. We decided that this would be our  best opportunity to get an up date on our little chivasita.